Jul 09
Jul 09
I was going to keep this to myself, but I decided it’s just better to lay it out there–that the honesty might do a good job of keeping me honest. So here it is…today, I’m quitting smoking again–for the last time. It’s been so much a part of me for so long–and now it’s time to be done–for real and for good. I’m pretty adept at quitting, actually. I’ve done it a number of times. It’s the staying quit that gets me. They say nicotine is as addictive and hard to shake as heroin. While I’m certainly not interested in testing out that theory myself, it does remind me of the scene in Trainspotting where Ewan McGregor (who is more than welcome to enchant me with Your Song from any fanciful Paris rooftop any time he pleases) is in his bedroom hallucinating and writhing in pain as he endures heroin withdrawal. Happily, I’m not there. And, also happily, I’m not on Wellbutrin, which turned me into a raging lunatic the last time I quit. Honest to god, I was crazy–and mean apparently. I don’t actually remember a lot about those three weeks. Nasty stuff that–worse than cigarettes I’d say.
So, now as I’m clearing out this space where smoking lived in my life, I’m contemplating what I want to fill that space with instead. Nature doesn’t like a vacuum and will fill it unconsciously if I don’t do so consciously. It’s an exciting prospect to be considering what I want to bring in. More breathing and meditating, more time outside, more focused space for creative projects, and maybe even more Ewan McGregor on YouTube–why not?!
Wish me luck…and endurance…and success!
Best of luck! Having quit myself about a year ago, i can certainly relate to that challenge. I also had quit several times before (once for 3 years!!!!), only start up again. This time it’s for real though. I simply made up my mind. In my space of no cigarettes I’m not exactly sure what I filled it with. That’s an interesting question and one I intend to get to the bottom of. Thanks for the idea!
Sounds like you’re ready, which I think is a lot of the battle. I really really love the notion of bringing in something new, what a wonderful way to view such a transition period! Love to you!!!!!
Life is full of adding and removing options. You have just added an option to your daily routine–and life. Choose your new activities wisely–and I know you will. I’m here to listen to your new plan and fly away from the old. Love and support you.
[…] Good riddance. […]
[…] I would like to offer up a hearty congratulations to…me! Yeah, I know how that sounds and I don’t really care. I have been cigarette free for 3 months and I’m going to recognize this anniversary! It’s been challenging and I’ve felt like 100% pure crap going through nic fits on occasion–though nothing quite like Ewan in Trainspotting, thankfully. So, I’m going to take a moment to pat myself on the back for sticking with it and doing something really good for myself. And, dang, I’m pretty excited about this–3 months is a long time in the addiction/habit breaking world. […]